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a good thing we came back! we were crated up early this morning for the drive back home. pyong pyong has a slight upper respiratory infection due to our antics yesterday. unfortunately, whatever powers we have do not seem to be helping her combat the sneezes and wheezes. she has a weepy eye. it makes her cross. what am i saying? everything makes her cross.
fresh cage when we finally got home. traffic was terrible. everyone and their mother must be commuting today. 294 was a nightmare of stops and starts. although our cage was covered with a sheet, i snuck out for a peek at the scenery whipping by. we were doing a zippy 74mph for a bit...then parkinglot kind of traffic down at the last toll before our exit. nothing too exciting, but a lovely day. i hopped up into the front seat and took a snooze in the sunshine - right next to our person - she didn't notice as molecules all around me were vibrating like mad. she DID sneeze several times, but failed to make the me-sneeze connection. i love that. she was singing - loudly. i think other people could hear her at the toll gates. a small scary moment when she hit a note that caused a hitch in my molecules getalong...if she'd been looking in my direction she would have had visions of powder bunny...
good to be back. big bunny grins all around.
eh, now i am all disaffected. more adrift than before, if you can believe it. i don't know how pyong just plugs along like purpose doesn't matter. or maybe she's just very full of her own personal purpose. maybe my problem is that i'm looking outside of myself for answers and what i really need to do is plumb the depths of powder b. bunny. okay, maybe this is serious thinking time. pondering the ponderous and perplexing problems of powder. probing the proper pellets for purpose. ahh. purpose. here's the thing...before when i was just a bunny and only a bunny, i had a dual purpose - bunnyhood, and pethood, but no choice really in the matter of either. being a bunny is like, er, being a computer, i guess. all programming in some sense, and no thought about what program is running/hopping. choosing short term, but not seeing much beyond those immediate choices, not remembering the outcomes except in instances of survival. knowing and feeling so little. being a pet...well, in my case, i've had it better than other animals, i suppose. i didn't have to sit in a cage my entire life - i got out, was a house rabbit. but everything was controlled by someone else. suddenly having personal power is both empowering and weird. maybe it's like going to college and going nuts at first - MUST do EVERYTHING! gyaaahhh!!! - but then settling down once you're accustomed to the freedom. i haven't really gone nuts...yet. i am the levelheaded one. oh yes, watch out world. at the same time, sometimes i miss that safety of knowing everything was taken care of, done for me. eh, a random thought, and not really true. if i were willing to be the dumb bunny everything WOULD go on as it has in the past - the only thing that has changed is me. and no one knows this except pyong. and pyong doesn't care. this is such a lark for her. it's like she got all of the power but none of the checks. i am the big check in the road for both of us. i am the one who holds us back. i wonder how long i can hold her back - how much longer will she listen to me? will there come a day when she decides that she does not need the voice of reason? i think she might move on without me, if i cannot find the will and the reason to move on my own. i feel that something must happen soon, this sort of off-balance limbo-land cannot be maintained indefinitely.
what do rabbits in the rain do for fun? they sing milli vanilli, of course. "blame it on the rain, it was fallin' fallin', blame it on the stars that didn't shine that night, whatever you do, don't put the blame on you, blame it on the rain, yeah yeah." nah, just kidding. we hung out under the bushes in our impermeables and hid from sight by our various means. there were lots of smells to smell, a large area to explore. so this is the world. when the train came by it was loud and startling. everything rumbled, and we huddled together and hunkered down deep in the grass on our bellies. typical rabbit reaction to eeek! scary stuff!!! found some tasty plants that really hit the spot. the day cleared up after awhile and i practiced leaping high into the air and floating gently down. pyong fired woodchips at me with her magic. her aim is terrible (good for me). i felt like a large, slow blob. it was crazy fun, though - about as good as racing back and forth for no reason at all except to feel your muscles move in sinewy harmony. it's like music (tho, better stuff than milli vanilli).
a real wild rabbit hopped near to us, but when it got an actual whiff of our scent it hurried away again. i think we no longer smell...natural, i guess. well, not like rabbits anymore. we are something new. still without a real purpose.
we were out most of the day, and i talked pyong into going back as the evening dusk came on. i wanted to check out the family library, and it was time to raid the refrigerator again. i was even craving some of those rabbit pellets we get every day. how crazy is that? pyong had been rapid chamleon changing and was all tuckered out. but the result of her concentration and hard work was that she could effortlessly and instantaneously change, without thinking about it, to match her surroundings. impressive. we made it back home without mishap and pyong curled up in front of a heat vent. i went over to the bookshelves and dragged a copy of douglas coupland's Generation X down and under the bed. once again a dust bunny. but literary, oh so literary.
pyong had perfected a spell to keep the rain off of our coats - a good thing, as it was soggy here. she also finished our stand-ins, so we escaped from our cage in the wee hours of the morning, and slunk out the back door. i was able to get us through a number of obstacles and we decided to stretch our legs and really get hoppin', so we kept going down to the railroad tracks at the end of the street. there is a lovely grassy strip there, with just enough cover to make us inconspicuous. pyong, of course is ALREADY inconspicuous. she immediately became as grass and disappeared from sight. it still amazes me when she disappears like that. i attempted to do the same, but had no success altering my own coat. i could however, create a disturbance in the molecules that effectively shielded me from sight. it's hard to explain, but i'll try. normally, i guess, i would just have the molecules move aside and make enough space in the whatever for me to step through. this technique i'm using to conceal myself is a bit different - i sort of excite the molecules and in their state they keep prying eyes subconsciously busy following their movements. i'm not sure myself exactly how it works, i only know that it does. i think it's very possible that even in their excited state, the molecules don't conceal me entirely. it's just that eyes are so easily tricked...whoever was looking would have to pay very close attention...and most people don't. i've been reading more douglas adams - see his references to the somebody elses's problem fields that are generated. this is a practical application of a sort of primitive SEP. i may get better at this, practice will tell.
Day five of the observation and nothing has stirred in apartment 2. are they ever coming back? the interstellar g-pigs' ship is cloaked and hidden in a nearby farm field and the big pig in charge is pacing back and forth wearing a path into the flooring.
"How much longer should we wait, sir?" asked one of his subordinates.
Black beans thought a moment before answering. "I still firmly believe that whatever has taken the inhabitants away is only temporary. they will be back, and it won't be long. we must try to be patient. this is very important. if the rabbits have been genetically altered...that could have repercussions. we don't know HOW they might have changed. we don't know if they are a danger to their person(s), or a danger to themselves. it is possible, of course, that they are completely normal and the contaminated grass has had no effect on them whatsoever. but it would be folly to simply decide to leave well enough alone at this point. we must be thorough."
the subordinate nodded. yes, big pig in charge was right. they could not leave any stone unturned. the fate of the world, the fate of the universe might be altered forever if possibly mutant rabbits were allowed free rein.
Now the person is gone TOO. we have been left here with her family to be ...PET SAT. how absolutely fabulous. pyong is bored - she has been attacking a cardboard tube all evening. i am burying the tomato that someone gave us. yuck. we don't LIKE tomatoes. for fun last night, i escaped through the side of our cage (by rearranging the molecules) and had a romp through the house. the dog was asleep, so it was ok. i had a little brain storm and realized i could get into the refrigerator and pick out something we DO like. i found some carrots and an apple, and dragged those back to our cage. pyong was super happy. she helped me drag them inside. we almost had some trouble with the guinea pig - he started this begging racket - wheeping and gnawing on the bars of his cage as soon as he smelled the food. i bribed him with a piece of apple, and he was quiet until we had finished our banquet. urp! we were rather noticeably NOT hungry this morning. pyong leapt around enthusiastically and knocked over our food dish. Grrreat. it's everywhere. she kind of likes the challenge of having to forage for ourselves. i just think it's a waste of time. although, i can't think of what else we would be doing just now. tomorrow we should have just enough litterbox materials to fashion simulacra, then we can get out and roam around. the simulacra don't eat, which is good and bad. it means we will have to go back for meals which is kind of a pain if we're in the middle of an interesting jaunt, but it's also good, because we may not be able to continue raiding the fridge. pyong seems to have something mischevious in mind. naturally, she's not sharing. going to have a bath now...
Black beans was pleased. of the final seven sites, six had reported in and all was well. his comunit buzzed and he churred contentedly - this was it! the final site!
"You found...WHAT?... Are you sure? ok. well. you two stay there and keep watch. if the humans and/or the rabbits come back, then you let me know IMMEDIATELY. I'm going to get the rest of the crew together, and we'll be there soon. soonest." he signed out and immediately got on the ship's intercom, "Now hear this...A sack of contaminated orchard grass has been found at location seven, Urbana, Illinois. We are leaving NOW for location seven. I want a team on the double to go and collect the g-pigs from the other sites. we will rendezvous in 10 earth hours at location seven." Message repeats...
meanwhile...at the Urbana residence two interstellar guinea pigs are investigating the premises of apartment number 2. chutter...chutter..."there doesn't seem to be anyone here."
"No...you're right. it looks like they were here recently, though. Look, there are still dishes in the sink... and a cage left behind." the investigation continued and the two g-pigs went on to discover a bin full of rabbit pellets, as well as a litter box full of the OTHER kind of rabbit pellets (in one end, out the other). "Hmmm...well, they can't have been gone long. and it seems likely they'll be back soon...Let's install the equipment and focus in here on the cage that was left behind. we'll get ourselves set up and hopefully they'll be back soon."
"Yes. Black beans won't like it that we have to wait. he's already anxious to get back to Cavvy. To be honest, so am I. this mission has gone on far too long, and we've never had anything like this happen before. I'm thinking there will be an inquiry into the whole business, and that might even be a good thing."
"Hey! I found the orchard grass...looks like the bag is mostly empty. there's some small pieces left over - orchard grass dust, heh."
"That's good! we won't have to break it down then to sample it. Here, I'll run it through the analyzer and at least that part of our mission will be completed. We don't even have to replace this hay with anything else - as they've gone and eaten it all."
pause while the guinea pigs feed their analyzer some of the grass...
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo...doo doo doo doo DOO doo doo doo doo doo doo...
Silence while they read and interpret the results...
"WHEEEEEEEK!!!!"
okay, it is now safe to PANIC! be alarmed, be very alarmed.
"oh NO. no no no no."
"It CAN'T be."
"IT IS."
"We have to contact the big pig in charge NOW."
and what's WORSE is this...we have been scooped into our travel cages (carriers) for a journey back up north. ugh... disgust. we were hoping to get outside this weekend and try out our superpowers on the forces of nature. well, be our OWN forces of nature. now we are back in the bosom of the person's family - and they are seriously nuts....and ubiquitous. it will be difficult for pyong to make simulacra (especially since our litter box was just cleaned - no materials!), and it will be difficult to escape unnoticed. so frustrating!!! did i mention there's a dog? A DOG!!! and a guinea pig. but we can't talk to them, because they are not smart like us, er, you know, ENHANCED. right. argh... and no orchard grass, still. no sign of any orchard grass either. the g-pig here does have his own supply of timothy hay, and unlike ours, it is fresh and tasty. i have been at the hay bar most of the afternoon. feelin a little frisky on top of my irritation. while pyong napped i raced around her in circles, until she bit me on the leg. ouch ouch ouch. i will now sulk in the corner and nurse my very sore leg. wench!!!!
as the yellowpoet so eloquently put it, "yes."
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
and we were nearly, nay, completely out of orchard grass! pyong asked me to order some more, and I had the person's credit card in mouth when i realized she might become suspicious if packages (oh yes, and BILLS) began arriving unannounced, unexpectedly, and un-asked-for. pyong shrugged when i pointed this out, "we NEED more, powder, i'm hungry." we still have some timothy hay, but i have to say, it's just not that great compared to the orchard grass. i've made a point to turn away from it every time the person gives us a handful. this morning, she actually muttered, "they just don't seem to like it...going to have to get something else..."
no harm in checking online, i suppose...ahh, yes...click click, orchard grass, mmm....WHAAAAT!? NO MORE ORCHARD GRASS?!
******HAY regrets to inform you that your order cannot be filled. Orchard grass is currently out of stock. We expect to have some more soon. Please check back with us. Your business is important to us, and we regret any inconvenience this may have caused. -- *******HAY
INCOMPETENCE! the big pig in charge shook his whole body in irritation. the situation, at least was salvageable. the humans seemed to think that their dear peekaboo had died of a heart attack, which, essentially, he HAD. it was still traumatic for them, and damned unnecessary as well. SLOPPINESS! at least the interstellar g-pig on duty had pulled himself together and had been able to remove all evidence of surveillance once the humans were out of the house. lab samples confirmed that the subject, "peekaboo," was in no way genetically altered from his original design. it was unfortunate. Black beans sighed...this whole mission was beginning to get on his last nerve, he'd have to return them all to Cavvy soon - everyone needed a vacation. He chewed thoughtfully on the edge of his schedule...hmmm...only 7 more addresses to go, and then they could make for home. Barring any more disasters, of course. Next on the list, Urbana, Illinois. An order for one 15oz bag of orchard grass...to a Ms. Thogersen. of course, the g-pigs wouldn't know what kind of animals were munching on it until they had their surveillance equipment in place. Black beans huffed with some satisfaction. it was wrapping up, and they were nearly out of danger.
g-pigs should live forever, happily munching and leaping and wheeping. they are so merry, so chatty, so irrepressibly cute. their beady eyes strain to see around their big honkin' schnozzes. i think they mostly see schnozz and wonder all of their lives what the heck that big blurry thing is that obscures most of their vision. well, *I* would wonder.
the interstellar g-pig was frozen at his screen. oh this was bad. he'd just committed murder...cousin-killing...okay, really distantly related cousin, but still. enormous eyes glistening, brimming with enormous g-pig tears. the big pig in charge's voice blared over the comunit, "pull yourself together, you idiot! you've really messed up, and believe ME, you WILL hear about it - but later. right now, you have to sit tight and make sure that everyone thinks this g-pig died of NATURAL causes. DO YOU HEAR ME? NATURAL. so you will get yourself under control - i'm talking about COMPOSURE. you will NOT panic. AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR?" the g-pig chuttered softly into the comunit, "yes. yes, sir." he rubbed the tears from his eyes hastily, and straightened his blaze. then he turned back to the screen and forced himself to watch the murder scene play out before him.
from off camera came a scream, "peekaboo?! ohmygod, peekaboo!!" a human hand reached into the cage and gently stroked the g-pig's bristly nose. then a sob. two hands reached into the cage and lifted the limp cinnamon form up and out of camera range. "oh no, oh no...no, no, no..."
30 addresses addressed. teams of interstellar g-pigs staked out residences across the country. they discovered bags of orchard grass, they discovered the small animals that munched contentedly on the same. one thing was certain - every one of them loved orchard grass. they took dna samples from hair, they placed hidden g-pig cams in cages. they observed, they took notes, they hummed busily to one another.
the earth expert stayed aboard ship and analyzed data. thus far, every little munching creature had checked out normal. no odd behaviors, no unexplained deaths from eating contaminated orchard grass. the g-pigs replaced the uneaten amounts, if indeed there were any, with other grasses. only the animals knew the difference. some munched on unconcernedly. others turned up their finicky noses and sunk their busy teeth into the hands of their people for variety.
at the 51st address, an anomaly was thought to have been discovered. an older cinnamon colored g-pig (of the earth variety) with whorls of ruddy brown hair (abyssinian!) moved slowly but deliberately to his hay rack. the interstellar g-pig in charge of the particular observation time slot slipped into a light doze, asleep (or nearly so) at the screen. he heard voices and when he looked back, the cinnamon g-pig was facing the camera directly and its lips were moving. the I-g-pig quickly turned up the sound, and the g-pig on screen said , "Peek-a-boo! I see you!" the I-g-pig pressed the panic button on his comunit, and then set the camera to stun his earthly cousin. disaster. total utter. the elderly earth pig gave up a strangled wheep of terror and confusion, then collapsed on his side, crushing a particularly wild whorl on his left flank.
rain, rain falling down, causing all the slugs to drown. i pressed my fuzzy noise to the window - rabbits do NOT leave noseprints - and looked out into the world. the world is rain. not that it matters. i am warm and dry. pyong pyong was playful this morning, hopping around and around our food dish so that i couldn't get anywhere near breakfast. moooooove, pyong!!! she nipped my tail, too. then we both settled in to munch on our breaky. she's ready to venture outside again...with proper precautions taken. that means, we explore together. she will create simulacra for both of us once the person is off for the day. unfortunately, what we really need are rain coats. can you see it? little yellow slickers - and yellow brimmed hats with ear extensions. we'll be stylin' fer sure.
something is UP in the warren, however (i'm reclaiming my rabbit roots now, or the humanization/anglification of such - just finished reading Watership Down), the person has dragged out a great many things, and filled many baskets with towels, and clothing. There is a delicious looking stack of library books waiting by the door. I think she may be going somewhere. with luck, that will give us at least 24 hours on our own to explore the local environs. i don't know what we'll do with these powers and this information...will a day come when we just pack up and leave? will we bother to set up our simulacra then? i feel torn about it. on the one foot, it would be something to be free...on the other foot, this person, this situation is the only one i have known - well, can recall with any clarity. the rest is my preliterate blurr of images, and i'm not sure how to interpret any of that. i think i might miss the person...but more, i think she would miss us. still...is there some greater purpose in the world for an attackrabbit? i do not know.
the person was having a long nap this afternoon, and left the cage door open, so i was free to explore on my own for a good three hours - without any subterfuge. pyong pyong declined my "let's romp!" invitation and settled in for a nap of her own. these women in my life... so SLEEPY all the time. eh. the person left her low top chucks out - my favorite shoes for thoughtful chewing. hey, can't escape all of my biological programming. my teeth still like the feel of something tough between them. wood would (oh-ho!) be nice, but a good rubber sole is gnice for a gnaw. i think if i chewed up the desk near our cage the person would seriously have a fit. these shoes are pretty beat up already... still, lost in thought, i did manage to take quite a chunk out of one of them. i nudged it so it would fall on its side, covering the damage. doot dee doot dee doo... i moseyed away. or maybe i mosied away? anyone know?
it was a rainy afternoon, and rather dull. i decided to practice altering the molecular arrangements in the closet door, and did a fair amount of nipping through the me-shaped spaces i created. there were lots of interesting things to munch on in the closet. oh, don't worry. i was able to curb my interest in the interesting things. still, i tasted everything. hmmm... was i this bad when i was just a dumb bunny? probably worse. i wish i could ask for a piece of wood to chew on. the person has bought the most disgusting substitute. okay, maybe you've seen these things? they're wood pieces, shaped like carrots, COLORED like carrots, and *shudder* FLAVORED like who KNOWS what. bleaaahhh. horrible. we're supposed to LIKE them. pyong buried one in the litter box (we have not looked back). i urinated on the other one. the person was rather put out. it's almost insulting though. wood should taste like WOOD, and carrots should taste like CARROTS, and there shouldn't be any mixing of genres, capiche?
the g-pig crew got to work. big pig in command ordered the ship to search for a wireless network into which they could hack. it was done within seconds. the ship cloaked itself and the pigs flew within the wireless range. they located information about the company via the earthly internet, and then bypassed all security and encryption and entered the sales database (don't worry, i won't reveal how they did this). a quick calculation was made...how long had it been between their visits to earth? a span of perhaps 3 months, earthtime... a query was placed against the database, records were found for transactions involving orchard grass, and orders placed for it within the last 3 months. addresses were found, traced, a list was generated. the g-pigs whirred and churred over the list...they had been thorough. before they could investigate their list, however, one thing remained - the warehouse itself, housing all packages of the orchard grass. it was a shame, a pity, a great wrong to do it they were well aware...but there was no other choice. the warehouse was also burned to the ground...just days after the field of orchard grass burned out of existence. the g-pigs had contemplated the removal of the orchard grass alone...but that would seem far more suspicious. at least this would seem like a general attack on the farm/supplier, and not a strange malicious attack on orchard grass specifically. they regretted it, but were resolute. it burned to solemn chudders from the interstellar g-pigs.
a commanding wheek sounded. it was time to press on. the g-pigs turned as one and focused their attention on the list. 75 transactions, 75 individual addresses. one crew of 44 g-pigs. one earth expert among them. absolute precision, certainty, secrecy required. their practice had been, was still, to be unobtrusive. they had to interfere as little as possible in the lives of the earth creatures. they had to strive to be uninvasive. it was going to be difficult.
interstellar g-pigs looking down at the blue bubble of earth are silent. they watched the field of orchard grass burn, down down fire consuming even unto the very roots. just to be sure. they had sampled it before burning it, and it was not the same monster grass that had taken the life of youvegottabekidney beans, but they thought "just to be safe." there hadn't been much Cavvyan potting compound spilled...the actual amount of contaminated grass was quite small when compared with the size of the field... it was possible that no earth creatures had been harmed - save the grass itself.
the big pig in charge chuttered quietly and the others shivered. he was right. they WOULD have to see where the grass had gone. earthers used grass to feed their livestock. it was a needle in a haystack kind of problem, but they had to focus their g-pig brains closely on the matter. what if, what if something, some being HAD eaten the grass? what would it do to them? what had Cavvy wrought on this world? the g-pigs huddled together and tried to take some comfort in that closeness. their fears, however, were still very much in evidence.
a quiet couple of days on the attackrabbits frontier. pyong pyong's outdoors adventure has made us both a little more cautious (for the time being...you never know with pyong though, she's quite impetuous). no litterbox shenanigans, to my relief. pyong seems to be lost in contemplation, and for that reason, "powder, stop pestering me, i can't hear myself think!" pyong is once again not speaking to me. i'm trying not to take it personally.
i hung out with the person on the futon while pyong was thinking. misjudged my own strength a bit, and when i jumped i landed on her head. whoops. that really surprised her, but as it wasn't of the same calibre as "able to leap buildings in a single bound!" jumps, it was no more than mildly surprising. i haven't let on that i can jump MUCH, MUCH higher, longer. and, i still haven't worked out those jumper muscles enough that i can jump like that and not feel sore or tired.
while we were watching that black box, the tv, saw a random bit of news that seemed interesting. some lonely field in nebraska was burned and razed - the whole thing. it was sort of a crop, uh...square, rather than a crop circle. no one can figure out what happened, and vandals are suspected - though, all they did was burn the one field, none of the surrounding areas were touched at all. A grass or prairie fire can be a serious thing. especially when the area is dry, as it was. so to burn something so specific, it pretty much had to be done deliberately. why do we care? i only mention it because our orchard grass hay comes from there. that's what was burned. a field of orchard grass. how strange.
the person came back...finally. no pyong still. i decided to sound the alarm. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP! the person let me out, and i immediately began tracking pyong with my superior bloodhound...uh...rabbit olfactory apparatus. her tracks did lead up to the front door, which was closed, so i couldn't tell if they continued on the other side. i leaned against the door and closed my eyes, pressing one ear to the dark wood. i strained to hear...my shoulder started to ache as i leaned harder. a moment later everything ached as i fell through the door unexpectedly and hit the porch on the other side.
a blustery night, and the wind was blowing hard. i was immediately chilled, despite all my layers of fuzz. my teeth chattered as i hopped cautiously around the porch. the leaves were rustling in the trees, what few leaves were left. the rest were roiling around on the ground, louder still, and alarming. i admit freely that i am no wild rabbit myself. it was terrifying. instead of freezing to the spot, as i was inclined to do, i hopped toward the stairs and called softly, "pyong pyong!" there was a faint thump from inside of the recycling bin...i stood on hind legs to peer over the edge. large brown eyes met my blue ones.
"POWDER!"
every other part of her was newsprint colored, with squiggly words.
"how long have you been in there?" I asked.
"AGES. simply forever. i tried to follow the person in, but the door slammed shut in the wind - nearly right on me. it was too late and i couldn't think of anywhere to go."
"didn't you do any exploring?"
she looked a bit embarrassed. "well...some. but i was scared. i hopped around the house...sniffed at places i've seen from inside, or when we've been in the carrier on our way to the car. but i didn't want to hop away and get lost...and i knew you'd be worried."
"aww..."
she shot me an odd look, raising an eyebrow, and turning back to her normal rabbity colors. "by the way, how is it that YOU'RE out here."
i laughed a little...a little hysterically. "Dunno exactly. i appear to have rearranged the molecules in the door to my own liking, and i slipped through the spaces that used to be between them...what do you think of THAT?"
pyong shook her ears. "GOOD! then you can do it again! i'm freezing out here! let's go in." she raced to the door. then turned around to notice i wasn't following. "HELLO? what are we waiting for?"
"well...it's just that...that...i don't know if i can do it again."
she rolled her eyes at me, all impatience once again. "come on, powder. you won't find out if you continue to sit over there."
i approached the door. i sniffed it carefully. it smelled like door. ok. no big surprises there. i tried to remember everything i did before... pressing my shoulder and ear to the door, listening hard, thinking about the other side... my side started to tingle. i heard pyong say, "WAIT!" rather desperately, and i moved away...
the door was glowing faintly, in a bunny-shaped outline - a ME outline. pyong pushed against this with her nose, which popped through the door on the other side. she quickly dashed through. i made to follow her and banged my head nicely against the hard wood surface. mutter mutter. okay, regroup. lean, press, listen, concentrate - POP! i was through as well.
pyong pyong was already in our cage tearing apart the simulacrum - which, oddly enough, had attacked HER. I went over under the computer desk, and stretched out by the person's feet. enough excitement for one night, i guess.
is she lost? is she just waiting outside the door? will she be able to sneak back in? worried...(furrowed bunny brow)
pyong pyong has been gone for hours. she has perfected the art of blending in perfectly with her surroundings - actually, this is something rabbits rely on naturally in the wild. pyong has taken it a step further. she can change the color and texture of her fur to match anything around her. she set up her simulacrum and took off. i opened the cage for her, and she nodded at me as she went out. that was the last i saw of her. the person was completely oblivious. she came into feed us as usual, and the simulacrum lunged at her when she opened the cage door. the only advantage of having the simulacrum over pyong herself, is that i get to enjoy twice as much breakfast as usual.
person went out after that. pyong still hasn't returned. I can't even hear her moving about. she immediately changed to match the dark wood of the floor boards, and became essentially and for all purposes, invisible.
i *think*, although, i don't *know* for sure, that she may have followed the person out the door to the world beyond. this is sort of terrifying. i know that pyong has come a long way in the past months, both evolutionarywise and otherwise...but still, i fear that she has little in the way of hmm...outdoorsy smarts. i hope she's okay.
she can be free to do whatever she wants out in the world, as long as she's got this THING pretending to be her. If we were talking...i might ask her to make one for me... well, it's bound to get mucked up somehow. i'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. grump grump.
oh, rabbit, you're going to love this... you can take the rabbit out of the litterbox, but you can't take the litterbox out of the rabbit. er...something like that. pyong pyong has done it. using her magic and a sort of rabbit shaped golem-like sculpture she made from (yep, you guessed it), *litter box materials*, pyong has created a simulacrum - of herself. when it's magicked, it looks and acts exactly like her - complete with real biting (feels real to ME anyway). if it wasn't so gross, it'd be brilliant. you know what this means.
pyong pyong does not care to record our adventures for posterity's sake. she says she would rather "live the dream." i guess it's sort of my narcissistic side to want to write about this being a rabbit thing, and being an *attackrabbit*, no less. that counts for something. maybe if we were having more adventures out in the world at large, i would feel the same way. and there might be less time to do the recording. i guess it's like when people go on vacation - some like to take lots of pictures, may in fact spend most of their trip snapping shots...others simply want to live in the moment, and not snap it up.
sometimes i wish i had a sort of mental snapshot of the way that I was - back before i understood what it meant to become this. i can comprehend it all better now...but i wish i understood better how it was then. probably goes back to my whole self discovery/understanding quest, which may be my holy grail for the forseeable future.
but if you were wondering about the whole computer desk thing... duh. how DO you think i'm posting all of this anyway? sheesh. stupid humans.
THUNK!
i can fly! ha. no, just kidding. i can float though, but not a sustained hover by any means. i discovered this by jumping up and missing the top of the computer desk. as i fell backwards, i sort of panicked...but was distracted by this stack of library books i like to gnaw on, and missed...the ground (douglas adams describes this theory of flying better, but as I said, i don't actually fly...i float). my floating was more like kirby (pink pokemon creature - okay, i've been watching tv. gotta get my pop culture somewhere), i could sort of huff and drift gently down. i practiced that for awhile. i felt like a mini zeppelin. with ears. and a tail. oh god. i look ridiculous.
pyong pyong has been doing something mighty secretive over there in the corner of our cage. she won't let me see what she's up to. she won't talk about it. and if i try and peek over her shoulder, she attacks me. the person has been gone a long time. think i'll get out for a bit and stretch me' thumpers...
if you've got the bunny, honey, i've got the time...
i am officially a "dust bunny" after all the time i have spent under things. instead of pow-der bunny, i am un-der bunny...which, i guess isn't so bad in the grand scheme of things. i mean, there was an underdog, after all, and he did okay as a superhero. my talents thus far do not include any magical powers. i can read, and i can argue, and i can mope. oh yes, and i'm ambidextrous. something tells me i'm not all that radical for an evolved being. eh. maybe i am jealous. maybe i am too *deep* for silly super powers. i will have to settle for being a mastermind and having cronies to do my dirty work for me. however, i will need them to respect me. is this the sort of quandary that mob bosses have? i mean, who is going to fear and respect a littlebunny rabbit? not that the fear would be necessary...i'm just thinking about being the butt of a lot of jokes, and not having anyone take me seriously. i hope the goons are unnecessary. of course, it's also not necessary that i achieve fame and acclaim and have a lot of babes hanging all over me...hmm... maybe i should rethink that too. goons or no goons? i can't even imagine. so far i have pyong, and i bet if i call HER a goon i can expect a long silence. oh. by the way, she's STILL not talking to me.
haha the person gave pyong pyong a BATH! and cleaned up the huge mess she left in our cage. and all the while, i was free to explore as much as i wished. i dragged "Being and Time" under the couch and read for awhile. person is none the wiser.
"I HEARD THAT! WHAT, I'M LIKE A FOOT AWAY! STUPID BUCK!"
it wasn't pretty. we had our "discussion," which basically involved me telling pyong pyong to stop ransacking the litterbox, and pyong pyong hurling dung at me in response. as a result of our enhanced state, we can now remember things for over 24 hours. as a result of better memory, we are now able to hold grudges. as a result of our holding grudges, we are no longer speaking to one another. grumble grumble...stupid doe!
"abra abra cadabra, i'm gonna reach out and grab ya..." pyong pyong is truly growing into her powers. inspired by harry potter, she's been trying out her own peculiar brand of bunny magic on the world at large. as we spend a lot of our time in a cage (still! this must change!), the beneficiary (all in the eye of the beholder) of such magic has been me. she has no wand or focus to direct her magical energies, but has found that if she is very physically active sometimes she can build up a kind of static-electric-magic field/aura around herself. then, by wiggling her nose, or whisking her whiskers in a certain way she can make herself glow, or make me levitate (alarming, really!), or make the water in our bottle disappear (this talent, not so useful...and starting to piss me off, really). mostly she builds up this energy by digging through our litter box, which, while it seems to work for her, is an absolutely disgusting habit. i intend to have words with her about it.
ooh, hungry hungry...we *could* feed ourselves, maybe, but then it would look suspicious when we aren't hungry later. more trips to the vet - bleahh. instead, we have taken to slipping out of the cage at night - as soon as the person has fallen asleep. she snores slightly (hey!), and her breathing becomes more regular when she is asleep. pyong says her brain waves change, too, but thus far i haven't been able to see that. pyong pyong likes adventure stories - she's reading harry potter. i've been looking at heiddeger...(being and time), and wondering if *I'm* dasein; if I'm authentic. what a headache.
leetle rabbit...enormous carrot...big problem?
au contraire.
gnaw gnaw gnaw.
delicious.
in the midst of all of this excitement, a thought burbles into consciousness. into the particular consciousness of a certain interstellar g-pig. one who has been on earth, one who has felt the glow of the moon on his back, one who has listened to the to the music of the field, one who has tasted the pure (unrefined) orchard grass. "oh dear..."
yes.
Kidney beans: does he live? does he die? does he live? does he die?
Powder bun: will powder survive having thoughtfully nibbled the corner of the book, "Creating Minds" by Howard Gardner? books are for reading, silly rabbit. that whole "digest" a good book thing isn't meant to be taken literally.
I'll let you in on a little secret. he dies. finally. inexplicably. within hours of his resuscitation. the g-pigs will do an autopsy, but all it will tell them is that something changed, then changed again. and it was too much for the intricately constructed, delicately balanced inner workings of an interstellar g-pig.
it could take some time to sort it all out. the big pig in charge knows this. and the orchard grass itself, having devoured all of the potting compound, now lies limp in the greenhouse. it lies limp in the botanists lab. the g-pigs let it die. they watch it. they do not exterminate it, for g-pigs are not particularly violent or vindictive. it's just one fine flavor they will have to learn to live without, because on Cavvy, it would be poison. and...it would eat the world.
dreams in bunnyland...powder twitches an ear, pyong pyong stretches her hind legs out behind her. attack rabbits are offline.
dream:
field in washed out autumn garb - browns, wheats, washed out yellows...dry grass, windy, sky dark and cloudy. everything is dying or sleeping or getting ready for winter.
the only sound is the wind in the grass.
bright eyed rabbits lie, sit still in scrapes. the air is still somewhat mild, but smells of fall, and winter to come. there's that hint of cold not far off, and the rabbits shiver slightly in their summer-turning-to-winter coats.
the only sound is the wind in the grass.
there is a sense of anticipation within the quiet, within the noise of the grass. something is coming. the whole world is crawling deep into itself. the sky tries to shield it while it hides deep down where its own heavenly body heat keeps it nice and toasty. it's the same feeling as staring off at the ocean on a dark stormy day just before the rain comes. everything gray and forbidding, the water reflecting the darkness of the sky, with the same portentious silence hanging heavy in the air.
the g-pigs could hardly see kidney within the frostfield. little indicators, however, told them that he was stabilizing. frost covered the sides of the frost chamber, ice crystals forming wintery borders around a most beloved g-pig. garbo and pinto kept a silent vigil at his side.
they were dozing off in a corner of the room, when kidney awoke. "Hey!" he trilled from within the frostfield. "Someone let me out of here!" pinto called the medics, who called the doctor. garbo rushed up to the frost chamber and lifted the top. and there was much excited nuzzling.
the medics arrived on the scene shortly. they examined kidney and found a faint pulse. he was still alive! many muted, though excited, trills were heard as kidney was gently lifted onto a stretcher and carried to the hospital between two porter g-pigs.
the attending medics gave kidney some fluids with an osmoticator - a personal raincloud that forces water molecules into the body through the skin, but which leaves hair/pelt/fur dry. they checked his vitals - still faint, but growing stronger. a blood sample showed that some body chemistry had been altered, was still in the process of being altered. A cell sample was taken, an epidermal scraping from one of kidney's foot pads. the scraped area immediately scabbed over and healed. a collective gasp issued from the medics. whatever was happening to kidney was also making his body heal itself at an alarming rate! in fact, kidney beans was burning up. they could feel the heat coming off of his body. this was a bad sign...surely he would sustain some kind of brain damage with such a raging fever. his temperature was well over 110. the medics wrung their hands and called for the doctor, a peruvian g-pig by the name of Lima Beans.
"oh dr. beans, this fever! it's off the charts! it's sure to kill him! what can we do?" the doctor looked down his long nose at them, his hair was long, but neatly pulled back behind his ears, and secured in a pony tail. his manner was grave as he considered their options. finally, he made his decision.
"we must cool him down, and quickly. bring out the frost chamber." the medics shot the dr. a shocked glance, then scampered off to find the frost chamber. like an incubator, the frost chamber isolates a body from the regular atmosphere/environment and encloses it in an artificial space where temperature can be controlled. the chamber creates a frostfield, which keeps the patient nicely iced. generally it is used to preserve the bodies of the deceased. and no one was sure that kidney wasn't bound for that very fate.
kidney fell over on his side, kicking, gasping...his eight front toes were curled into fists, his round eyes bulged...he seemed to be choking. the other two g-pigs rushed forward to help him and his body went limp. garbo and pinto nosed him carefully at first, then with increasing anxiety. could kidney be...dead? horrible, too horrible to imagine. kidney was completely still. garbo and pinto turned to one another; their eyes were wide and scared. garbo could not stop shivering. a tear splashed on pinto's nose. "Gracious Cavy-ott," he said, "it can't be..." he trailed off into silence.
shhhhh...the attackrabbits are sleeeeeping...
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