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visited *loading* times
only a matter of days later...
we began our descent to Cavvy. pyong and i watched from the observation deck, along with captain black beans and other crew members. the intersteller g-pigs were so happy to be home, it was contagious. i felt myself smiling, even though it was far from being my homecoming. i was actually excited. and if *I* was excited, you can just imagine how PYONG was. she could barely keep still, racing across the low set lounging cushions in front of the viewing area. back and forth she went. her rapid breathing quickly made her hoarse as she babbled to me almost incoherently. "oh powder, look, look, we're here, we're here...you can see the planet! it looks like earth, doesn't it? well...not exactly...oh! look over there! wow! have you ever seen anything like that before? i haven't." and she was off again.
black beans was even less stoic. he caught my eye with his own bright look, and smiled slightly. i tried to grasp the many nuances of that brief look. there was relief, sadness, joy, exhaustion, and some kind of promise. he held my eyes for only a moment, and then turned to face the expanse of Cavvy rising on the other side of the glass. he may have chuckled at the spectacle pyong was making of herself. i saw his whiskers shiver ever so slightly, and his lips came together as if he were suppressing a grin.
and then our consciousness of one another slipped away, as the ship descended into the atmosphere. closer closer, cloud cover, everything a blur, then grass grass grass as far as the eye could see...
Landfall...
certainly not mine. possibly pyong's, or maybe it's just that she's so adaptable and somewhat distractable, so anything new is interesting and exciting in her eyes. she appeared after i'd returned to "quarters."
"hey. so, what happened?"
"you mean you didn't bother to watch?"
"nah, busy watching the flight crew. they were afraid you'd done something and so they ran some diagnostics i hadn't seen."
"you left me to my fate, dire as it might have been for...diagnostics?"
she shook her ears at me, "look, it's not personal, powder. i mean, if they wanted to kill you or hurt you, they would have done it by now. just being found somewhere you weren't supposed to be isn't a good enough reason to damage you."
i was annoyed, but she was right. "you're right, i was fine. it was fine."
she sighed, "look, i know you're kinda pissed. i'm sorry i wasn't there. i'm sorry you didn't think to check for a tracking device. i'm sorry that we're trapped here. but i'm trying to do something about it."
"i know, pyong. i'm sorry, too..." pause..."so, what did you discover?"
she looked excited again. "we're almost there. almost to Cavvy. it should only be a matter of days now."
hmm...food for thought.
as it turns out, i had some extra time to craft an explanation, because the g-pigs that showed up to collect me weren't interested in hearing my excuses. their orders were to take me directly to the big pig himself.
"i specifically asked you not to visit flight control."
"yes, sir. i am aware of that."
"yes. well, then i must ask you, WHY were you there?"
hmm...why was i there? because of pyong! but no one knows she was there. how stupid do they think i am? should i lie? oh, i just wandered in and didn't realize where i was. but i'd been there quite some time - black beans wasn't going to buy it. perhaps...honesty? well, why not? "because i have been abducted from my planet against my will. i deserve to know what's happening to me. i deserve to know why it is that you're taking me away from my home, and by what means this is being done. since you will not answer questions about what is to become of me, of US, when we reach Cavvy, i have a right to seek out these answers for myself."
black beans gave me a stern look. "it is true, rabbit, that you have been taken against your will. and perhaps you deserve an explanation. but i am not the one who will give it to you." he looked away. "i will tell my story, and you will tell yours to the council that awaits our arrival on Cavvy. no one knows what your fate is to be. i can tell you that we are responsible for altering it. obviously we are responsible for your abduction...but we may have more than that to atone for." he turned back and his face was tired now, and sad. "i am sorry. i do not know if you can ever know how sorry - no matter what your intelligence, your powers of perception may be. we are responsible...no, *i* am responsible for altering the course of two lives at least (yours and pyong's), and perhaps the course of a whole world. and i feel terrible, awful about what has happened. the smallest, most insignificant thing, once altered, can change everything. one never knows how important a mote of dust may be to the fate of the world...one never knows, except perhaps in retrospect. and then we can only feel the pain of regret. i can't take back what has happened, little rabbit."
there was no more discussion about the flight control room. i had no desire to go back. he had no desire to prevent me. i think despite what black beans said about my not understanding, i did. i read a short story once, about a time travel safari company. the company would take groups of people from the future on safari (hunting trips) to the past. having carefully researched what animals were going to die anyway, the company would let the hunters kill those that were to meet their doom. one particular group made a trip to hunt dinosaurs. the hunters were told to stay on the path at all times. one of them did not. one of them strayed just a moment, and his boot, his fateful footstep, crushed one small, fragile, seemingly insignificant butterfly fluttering idly by. he thought nothing of it. only a bug. nothing important there. they returned to the future, and found it...vastly different. changed forever because of one butterfly - the repercussions of his actions forever imprinted on the pages of history. this was another moment. who could say what our absence would mean for earth, for the universe as a whole? and if i were to be honest with myself, to me? to pyong? we were already different, already changed...who were we becoming?
some philosophers believe in fate - everything happens for a reason; everything is meant to happen; there is a grand design and we just dance the parts we've been given in the choreography of life. they would say that no matter how strange, how random the events that led us to Cavvy in the company of interstellar guinea pigs might seem, it was all going...according to plan. but WHOSE?
"so," she said, "while you've been napping in the library, i've been figuring out how to fly this thing." i agreed that was useful. "and, now," she continued, "i'm going to show YOU how to fly it." she did. and the whole time the interstellar guinea pigs lay stretched out peacefully on the floor.
"by the way, pyong, how do you do that?"
"what?"
"make them sleep. keep them asleep."
"oh! easy enough. every species responds to these certain sound combinations, you just have to find the right one. i found out sort of accidentally on purpose that the g-pigs were susceptible to THAT particular combination. i was really curious, you see, about this room and how the ship works, and they wouldn't tell me anything, or anything much...so after camoflauging myself several times to learn more, i decided i needed to try out the controls for myself. so i was desperately wishing the g-pigs would go away - wondering, do they EVER go to sleep? i mean, yeah, of course they do, but they work in shifts so someone is always here. i was humming and thinking about sleeping g-pigs when the first crew started to go queer...eyelids fluttering, looking sleepy. i finally connected their behavior to my humming, and voila, sleeping beauts."
"fascinating...but, don't you think someone is going to figure out that the WHOLE flight crew has conked out? i mean, aren't these rooms monitored in some way?"
"oh, sure, but i figure that the monitoring is pretty much only to make sure that things are operating normally. these are emergency monitoring procedures. the g-pigs are rather peaceful, rather complacent for the most part. and you know how much these g-pigs want to get back to Cavvy. my bet is that they won't investigate unless something really out of the ordinary happens. they are totally wrapped up in their own projects, and i think it's unlikely that anyone will notice that the flight crew, "she nudged one snoozy pig with her nose, "is out of commission."
"fair enough. but pyong. they're monitoring YOU. US, i should say. i'm sure they've got some kind of tracking devices planted on us, because who knows what we will do..."
"yeah yeah, i found mine. didn't you take yours off?" she looked worried, "oh crap, powder, you didn't, did you? argh. this is going to ruin everything. they don't even technically know i'm in here, as i've planted my device in one of the gardens, deep in some briary looking plant. they think i'm hiding out there. i told them all about brer rabbit, and they think i'm naturally antisocial."
i laughed to myself, yes, they were right about that! pyong was seriously upset with me, though, "this is bad powder. they WILL notice that you're here, and it's too late to take the device off of you now." alarms began to sound and pyong looked even more disgusted. she whistled something and the sleeping g-pigs began to rouse themselves. then she pushed me into a darkened corner of the room. "just stay here. they will find you, of course, and ask you what you were doing in here - since, as you've mentioned, we're not supposed to BE in here."
"but, pyong, what am i supposed to tell them?"
she winked as she faded into the background, "whatever you like, dear. i suggest you make it clever though. they aren't going to be pleased."
we hopped over to the flight control room. "uhh, pyong, we're not supposed to be in here. the big pig in charge said we're not allowed."
she tsked at me. actually tsked. i wasn't aware we rabbits did that. next thing she'll start saying, silly rabbit, trix are for kids, and i'll know the end of the universe is near. she hopped a bit closer to the door, and switched on her "cloaking device" then hummed a strange little tune that began to resonate oddly in my ears. i'm not sure how she did it. you know that birds have a voice box called a syrinx which has a unique design that allows them to make two sounds at once. the sound pyong pyong was making HAD to be made with something similar. but before i could ask her about it, the g-pigs in the flight control room all dropped to the floor, deeply asleep. hmmm...interesting development. pyong grinned.
everybun should wake up to an exuberant (okay, yes and IMPATIENT!) pyong-pyong.
"let's GO!"
okay, okay, we're going!
i crouch at the base of the tree and look off into the grass, the wind ruffles my fur. who was that strange rabbit? i hear another voice, this time familiar, and my dream ears prick, just as my real ones begin to twitch. "Wake up!! you sleepy lazy thing, i've been watching you, and you've slept for over 3 hours!"
i'm awake now, but i don't open my eyes. this is a good voice. the fragments of my dream pull away from me like old, fragile webs. i am so happy to hear this voice, i lose all recollection of the other. pyong. pyong here at last.
"i know you're awake." she nibbles on my ear. "come on sleepy head, i can't wait to show you what i found!"
for a minute i think i'm seeing El-ahrairah...come back in ghostly form and Frith is shining above us, shaking with mirth at all our trickster kind. "bless my bottom," indeed. i close my eyes tightly, and this strange not-quite-there rabbit laughs again...the silvery overtones are softer now, only chimes in a faint breeze. "Powder.."
i squint up at him, my chin and belly still hugging the ground. he continued gently, "a day comes...not near, not far, when we shall see one another not in dreams, but in life and fur. you will know when it is time...and you will...remember." our whiskers brushed as he backed away... "remember...Powder..." he backed around the tree, and then there was only the sound of the grass. moments passed before i stood up again. then i sniffed for an elusive rabbit smell...but there was nothing remaining of him - no warm depression in the grass, no scrape where he might have rested, no pellets. i peered around the bole of the tree, hopped completely around the base. he had passed through this place like a shadow or a breath and had disturbed it as little.
i am transfixed...i move toward the tree, but lose sight of it as the grasses are well over my head at this point. the landscaping cleverly places those who enter the garden on a hill, a plateau, so that they can see the tree - tantalizingly close and seductive. but a hundred steps into the garden and more, and the tree disappears from sight. i did not despair for some reason, although all of my thought, all of my attention had been bent upon reaching the tree. this desire slipped to the back of my mind, I seemed to forget all about it, as i meandered through the labyrinth of grasses. through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered i have fought my way here to the goblin city...no goblins here, no goblins at home...no city, for that matter. just grass. i hear nothing now; everything is silent except the grass.
hopping casual...right forepaw reaches out touches down, left forepaw just behind it, both hind feet follow - thump. the rhythm of my pace is a nice counterpoint to the grass. rustle rustle, ba-dom, thump, rustle, rustle, ba-dom thump. somewhere in the back of my mind i'm wondering at how vivid everything is. this dream is full of color, full of sensation. sudden faint chiming voices - laughter. rabbit laughter. i am instantly alert. ears up, nose twitching...i freeze and let my eyes scan around me without moving my head. nothing. the laughter is gone. i hop forward after a few moments and push through two large clumps of purple streaked grass - not garish, you understand, but a washed out hay-like lavender purple. what purple would look like after months of sun and rain in a field - weathered. and i'm there. i'm in. the tree is actually down in a bowl, a small morraine, in the center of this clearing. it's on a small rise... i am still baffled by the grounds. what does this all look like sans plantlife? it would be interesting to see the lay of the land...
fleeting thoughts...for suddenly i hear the lapine laughter again...and see, at the foot of the tree, a shimmering rabbit-shaped form. i approach slowly, with my head down, neck stretched out low over the ground - indirectly coming closer to the rabbit(?) among the roots. when i am close, within a couple of feet, i stop and drop my belly to the ground, waiting for whomever this rabbit is to acknowledge me with a look, a touch, a word, something. soft laughter, an even softer touch, and the shimmery rabbit is nose to nose with me. "Powder," he whispers, "Powder."
yawn...and the salad days are still at hand, except now the g-pigs go off world and carry their grasses with them into space and beyond. i'm a tired bunny. sacked out in the library. i'll just put this book down, right there, and maybe rest my chin on the edible bean bag...mmmm...zzzzzzzzzzz...
dreams...
soft whirrs and churrs all around me, the world is quietly lit in shades of grey and brown. the suns have not quite cleared the hills, and the cloud cover this morning is dense and heavy. it may rain today. in small groups throughout the grasses, large guinea pigs trill softly to one another as the day begins. they no longer use the burrows underground - except for storage - and spend most of their waking life out among the grasses. there are clearings, kept short by gardeners where gpigs can meet in large groups. and the grass gardens are amazing...one could be lost for hours in their colorful mazes, lulled by the rustling blades, into deep peace and comfort.
i wander into one such garden and take my time, smelling the heady fragrance of some fruiting tree, which i can see growing tall above the grasses - the centerpiece of the garden. its branches are heavy with juicy globes, like maxfield parrish's painting of the orange lanterns at night. sunlight streaks through the clouds at this moment, beams fall across the tree, and seem to cut through the fruits, which glow translucently like backlit egg yolks (ooh simile! hahaha!).
so, the g-pigs used to live underground in burrows. as their intelligence increased, so did the sophistication of their network. their precautions against the flying carpets also became more ingenious. alas, the brightly colored carnivorous mats did not make as many evolutionary gains, and as their favorite species for munching became more cunning and less readily available, their numbers decreased drastically. they disappeared, became extinct, possibly, many years ago, and no living cavvy today has ever seen one. now the flying carpets are nearly forgotten. young cavvies scare one another with gruesome tales, and occasionally chase each other though fields of grass playing carpets & g-pigs. but the threat is no longer real to anyone. they are only a group memory that has dimmed so much that the rememberers can't even say for sure that the carpets ever existed - they've never been real to anyone now living. no one has had any firsthand experience of them.
and so, the g-pigs came out of their burrows, and stood quietly in the rustling grass. they scanned the skies for their predators, they posted guards, they shrilled many false alarms. gradually, when no carpets came, they relaxed. they stayed above ground longer, they came out during the day. they basked in the sunshine, they carried on musical conversations with one another. their young gallumphed and frolicked. they called these times, whimsically, the salad days. the time of the cavvy was at hand.
the Cavvian g-pigs were not always the dominant species on their planet. many years ago, they were much smaller and lived primarily in burrows under ground in order to avoid the horrors that walked the plains and rooftops of the world. the g-pigs were prey animals and the planet was inhabited largely by big scary beasties that just loved to slurp them up. these predators were carnivorous creatures that resembled flying oriental carpets - except with teeth - rows and rows of pointy, razor-sharp teeth, good for ripping and tearing the flesh of other creatures. these rug beasts would swoop down from the sky and drop either directly on top of their prey, or would sneak up on it in order to wrap it up tightly in carpety folds - so as to get a better grip on it before the teeth started tearing it to bits. not a pleasant experience to be a prey animal on ancient Cavvy. sort of jabberwocky-esque (they come from above! the jaws that catch the teeth that bite snickersnatch - i may be butchering it), except, you know, giant vicious er...rugs. yup. that's what the illustrations lead me to believe, anyway. while the ripping and tearing was going on, which you can imagine was very painful indeed for the victim (or, dare i say, MEAL), the carpets would secrete digestive juices that would effectively liquefy the tissues of the still-living creature. think acid. think burning. think utter torture and torment. my stomach was beginning to feel queasy. not a good thing for rabbits - we don't vomit, you know. we only feel ill and then stop eating. i put the book aside for a moment. ugh. some earth creatures do that, too. use terribly caustic digestive juices to puree their prey before slurping up the remains. stick a straw in me, i'm done. again, ugh.
our person once brought home a stack of picture books (for children, but rabbits like them, too), and among them was "Astro Bunnies" by Christine Loomis. we never thought anything like that could happen to us. but, it ends thus,
"Yet wherever
Bunnies go
There is one thing
They all know
Rockets fly and
Rockets roam
But bunnies ALWAYS
Come back home"
something to keep in mind, no?
i'm sequestered in the library - found a little nook and a little book to tuck into. they have these great edible "bean" bag cushions that the g-pigs sack out on when they're in the library. great for pleasure reading, and if you get the munchies, you're welcome to chew on whatever. the "books" are flat paneled screens and you can call up anything you might want to read in the library. new books are automatically loaded into the collection, which updates itself every week (Cavvy time). the space-faring g-pigs are a rather prolific race - lots of writings. they are particularly fond of poetry and music. a g-pig poem (translation):
all the while hush
the grasses flush
against our hides
we feel the brush
the whispering shush
of grassy tides
on we rush
short legs push
the silence abides
if you've listened to guinea pigs chatter, even the common earth variety, you'll have noticed their language/speech is very musical. rabbits being mostly silent make a good audience for chattier species. In g-pig:
ooh ooh, whoccccoooo?
whhhfffccoooo whhhfffccooo...
oop oop ump ump oop
whoccccooo.
are you there?
here, i'm here
we meet, our noses greet
you, me, we.
in the meantime, we are free to roam in designated areas, as we are no immediate threat to the cavvies themselves. there is some stir because pyong has not been "seen" for several hours now. one of the "beans" told her she could do some exploring, and she switched on her chameleon skin and took off for "the hills." There are some, actually, in their gardens/grounds, though i have no idea if that's what she's actually done. i am relatively sure she is safe and that all is well. she probably had a good snicker over it, before promptly forgetting that she was flouting some kind of authority and becoming wrapped up in her adventure. I have made no attempts to conceal myself or my movements - have been lacadaisically hopping here and there, poking my head into rooms, espying g-pigs, removing said head. The g-pigs are politely friendly, but also aloof. I don't know if this is what they characteristically are like, or whether they act this way because of who/what i am. i am lonely, but am not sure how to find pyong. nor do i know if she wants to be found. perhaps the g-pigs have a library? it might serve ONE of us well to know their history and something about them in general before we arrive on Cavvy, and are subjected to further (shudder) experimentation. Funny that rabbits are often lab animals...funny how we were pets, a better situation for us, but then later BECAME lab animals because of our smarts. and not even on the same world. i hope to one day be the master of my own destiny again...i hope the g-pigs will treat us fairly. i hope.
while it has been determined that we are no immediate threat to our captors or ourselves, the g-pigs do not have time to sit out in space and wait to see what we will do. they also do not have the pigs with the proper background, training, and interests to fully evaluate attackrabbits and our unique powers/situation. so we go with them to Cavvy, that verdant g-pig world.
we are to go to Cavvy.
i am officially "smart" by interstellar g-pig reckoning. hoo yah. i could have told them that. i have been asked to show them what other powers i have. pyong has recovered, but is being kept separate from me and is also undergoing the testing. she hopped by with several g-pigs earlier, and rolled her eyes at me. i think she is both slightly amused and bored by the whole circus. she cannot officially complain, i guess, as she has wanted adventure and excitement from the beginning. a chance to really stretch out her legs and run flat out. it's what all caged animals feel...walls closing in on them. freedom tastes like wind sucked in through your teeth as you're running - faster faster, fleet feet. you see and feel and smell and hear everything anew. it's all around you and you're all around it. no bars. in a way we're free...in a way we're caged. both are like never before.
a day of testing for me. i've been poked and prodded, scanned and analyzed. the results are all whirred over by the spacing g-pigs. the mental abilities tests will be administered tomorrow...whatever that means here. once again i am exhausted by the experience. pyong has not returned. the only thing i can't complain about is the veritable buffet of food i've been offered - grasses, hay, plants, vegetables, fruits...most unlike anything i've ever experienced. all pre-approved by the g-pigs before my digestive tract is allowed to sample any of it. they needn't have bothered, though. i'm off my feed somewhat. much too upset to really enjoy any of it. they could feed me...oh, i don't know, cardboard, and it would all be the same. will i look back on this at some point later and feel as though i've had an adventure? or will i always feel this scared and sad and awful about it?
i am alone. i was huddled with pyong and i must have fallen into an exhausted sleep at last. they were quiet when they came - caught me unawares yet again. preternatural hearing is obviously not something i possess. they have removed pyong to another room. the leader, Black beans, came to see me. i was already panicked, of course. he said it was because of her cold. they are going to run some tests on her, and hopefully will be able to give her some medication. it would be horrible, horrible to lose her. i am distraught as it is. WHY can't i be with her? WHY? WHY have they taken us? nothing has been explained. they only say, because they had no other choice. but we have not been given a choice at all. who decides that some beings make decisions for other beings without any kind of consultation. i would thump out this anger if i weren't so worn out with fear and worry. oh pyong. sniff. dejected ear postures.
they've taken us...taken us into their ship, into the sky...into the great wide universe. pyong is nearly unconscious. she fades in and out. her illness has not improved with our change of scenery. we've met our captors once. i have not tried to explore the area where we are being held. i have snuggled up close to pyong to try and keep her comfortable. we have been informed that we are being held for observation only. they have not said whether we will be returned to earth, or to our person for that matter. *they* are large interstellar guinea pigs. we are more familiar with the earth/garden variety, but it's amazing how similar they are - save for size, and intelligence. they still make g-pig noises, and do g-pig things. i suspect it's something like being a hyper-intelligent rabbit. and yep, i'd know something about that. the person will not notice our absence. they've left...replacements of some kind - like our simulacra, i'm sure, but probably not made from dung? we are not in any position to know. anyway...i miss home.
fear...
it happened upon this night
while sleeping bunnies lay
g-pigs from space alight
and stole them both away
awaken from your dreams
oh slumbering rabbit kind
this is not what it seems
your world's been left behind
most unexpected. i've left my carrot under the desk. i hope the person doesn't notice. i helped myself to what was in the fridge...then didn't finish, and forgot FORGOT! to hide the rest. she's been all over the apt., so i haven't had a chance really to nip out and grab it. pyong is still feeling poorly, so she hasn't ventured out today atall. we watched the person do some yoga - interesting stretchy stuff. i think rabbits practice their own yoga postures. i could be the first to start my own yoga school. heh, yogi powder, the yoga guru. come to me my rabbits, learn these ways to expand your mind and body. let us be one with the universe. we are quite flexible - have to be when you clean yourself with your tongue.
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