a thumpin' good time

what's there to be said for having a job? not much in all reality. we have spots, we sit them from dawn to dusk. we are seen. we munch the verge. the light fades, we retire. it's not what i'd hoped. i guess i thought maybe this would be a small chance to know other rabbits better and to be part of a community...but these rabbits while perhaps genetically similar, are so different in their experience and culture. i doubt that we will ever blend in successfully...well, what i mean is we will never be able to be ourselves around them. and hiding all one's life is a sure recipe for disaster and unhappiness.

i tried to explain this to pyong the other night, when we were tucked in our burrow.

"it's just mindless, pyong, the way we spend our time...day in day out doing the same thing. if this is what real work is like, they can KEEP it."

she only shrugged at me. i guess she was too tired to speak. pyong looks as weary as i feel, even if she won't talk about it. this can't be what she expected or hoped for either. that is my hope anyway. if pyong were blissfully content here, i don't know what i would do. i feel like i am drying up, becoming hardened somehow. this is not my place. it may be my world, but i am not right in it.

posted by: barkalot at 21:47 | link | comments |

we had a short whispered discussion about our status in urbana. pyong and i both felt we should stay, if only because we are most familiar with this place. and it would be easier if we took jobs. even if said jobs are only um, lawnsitting. god. who DOES that? we will arouse less suspicion among the wild buns if we are viewed as part of the community.

and so, our decision made, we went to see the city clerk.

it so happened that there were two spots free within a couple of blocks of each other in the neighborhood of our former abode. pyong and i took those spots and were given work contracts to sign - indicating our understanding of the terms of our employment and what was expected of us.

"this is a six month contract, pyong. are we really going to be here that long?"

"i don't know, powder. i doubt it...but it's not like they could really hold us to it if we wanted to leave sooner. and they can't exactly black list us. i don't think this particular rabbit jurisdiction goes beyond urbana. i mean, i've never noticed a rabbit per yard in champaign...and that's just across wright st."

here is what we are supposed to do:
1. report to work just before sunrise.
2. take position in your assigned yard and sit somewhere prominently until you are noticed by at least three passersby. once you have been seen you may move about more freely.
3. you may move sooner if you are threatened by dogs, cats, or humans. under dire circumstances you may leave the yard. but you must return to your yard (assuming you are able) when the danger has passed.
4. eat what you can find in the yard. if there is nothing suitable, or if your yard is poisoned/fertlized/or it is not safe to eat, you may arrange for a luncheon delivery. this will take place in a secure location and will not be observed by ANYONE not rabbit.
5. observe your yard, and what you can in your neighborhood from your position in the yard. report anything interesting/abnormal/dangerous/etc. to your neighborhood supervisor at the end of your shift. if you feel the information is sensitive or must be revealed in a timely manner, you may sound the signal (THUMP), which will be carried by the rabbits in your area until word reaches the supervisor. False alarms are punishable under certain circumstances.
6. if you become ill while on the job, you may also sound the signal and the supervisor will have you replaced for the duration of your illness. if you are ill prior to beginning your workday, you may contact your supervisor to find a replacement. more than three consecutive absences will require verification of your illness by an appointed rabbit, and possibly reassignment of your yard to another rabbit on a permanent basis (duration of your contract).
7. at the end of the workday - 2 hours prior to sunset - you are to report to your supervisor. meet at the designated spot and review the day's reports. everyone returns to their warrens by full night.
8. all rabbits will receive grazing privileges from the warren director or board, and burrow space. in addition, all rabbits are entitled to one free day per week.
9. contracts are renewable at their end, and rabbits may enter the lawn lottery to be randomly reassigned or may freely trade spaces with willing participants.

i had one question for the city clerk - just where do we go on our days off? she pointed out a large map on the wall of her office which had city parks and other public spaces highlighted. warrens were also located in these areas. our assigned warren was located in carle park...it was also the largest public space nearby. she finished processing our paperwork and we were each given a small badge to present to the neighborhood supervisor and warren director/board. these badges would identify us for a short while, until our scent became familiar to everyone.

we hesitated after receiving these.

the city clerk looked up at us after a few minutes and asked in a terse voice, "are you still here?"

"well," i said, "we don't know where to go."

she sighed like her back was breaking in 6 places and said with obvious impatience, "go to the warren director's office. it's just under the gingko tree in carle park. they will get you situated, burrowise. you'll meet your neighborhood supervisor this evening and will start work tomorrow. is that clear?"

we yes ma'amed her out into the sunshine and made our way over to the park.

posted by: barkalot at 21:06 | link | comments (1) |

pyong got the security bunny to let me out. my demeanor probably convinced him more than anything (hangrabbit, you know). we still had to wait around and talk to the council bunnies, though. when they finally had time for us, they were in a rush to move on to the next item on their agenda, so we were ushered in, given a rabbit handbook, and warned not to do THAT again...which i guess means sit on a lawn that is already occupied.

we looked it up in the handbook. it does indeed indicate that there is to be only one rabbit per lawn in the city of urbana. this law has been in effect for at least a decade, which is why there was some shock and disbelief concerning our ignorance of the same. contrary to popular belief, wild rabbits don't travel all that much. they are pretty much homebodies who stick to a territory.

the council didn't note anything outwardly strange about us, although our coats were somewhat more distinctively colored than those of wild buns. they did mark us as being out-of-towners, and as such, we must present ourselves to the city clerk who will either issue us visitors' passes (like passports for rabbits!) so that we can move about the city as we like (in accordance with certain regulations), or we may apply for citizenship and "jobs" of our own. the city will then assign each of us a yard to sit. we are advised to move expeditiously on this option, if we are interested, for there are not many vacancies at the moment...and finding two situations relatively close together may be difficult.

i must say our heads were rather spinning after this.

posted by: barkalot at 23:56 | link | comments |

so. i've basically accepted a few things, which i am not going to question.

1. wild rabbits can speak
2. wild rabbits have set up a complex society of which most, i have gathered, are unaware
3. wild rabbits have...jobs??
4. wild rabbit councils are akin to human meetings, in that they go on forever and accomplish very little
5. no one is going to tell me what is going on here, because no one can possibly imagine the depth of my confusion

in addition, i am counting on the following:

1. the council is going to end their meeting sometime soon and decide what to do with me - i rather think they will want to punish me - i don't look forward to it
2. pyong pyong will return to the yard and realize i am gone
3. if i am lucky, the wild bun will still be there, in position - MY former position
4. if i am VERY lucky, pyong pyong will think to ask that bun if he's seen a certain OTHER bun...a.k.a. ME
5. and if these things should come to pass, she will eventually find me - here
6. and somehow we will explain how there's been a mistake

in fact, there's pyong now...

posted by: barkalot at 22:13 | link | comments |

it's hard to get answers out of surly self-important rabbits with jobs in security. that having been said, it's hard to come up with questions to ask these same rabbits that get at what one wants to know. have you ever noticed that if you ask someone about something that they take completely for granted, they will treat YOU like you are stupid? so if i were to ask, "hey, why is it that you can speak?" all i'd get in response is a look that tells me without a doubt that i'm a COMPLETE and UTTER MORON. i don't need that today.

posted by: barkalot at 23:47 | link | comments |

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