a thumpin' good time

we had a short whispered discussion about our status in urbana. pyong and i both felt we should stay, if only because we are most familiar with this place. and it would be easier if we took jobs. even if said jobs are only um, lawnsitting. god. who DOES that? we will arouse less suspicion among the wild buns if we are viewed as part of the community.

and so, our decision made, we went to see the city clerk.

it so happened that there were two spots free within a couple of blocks of each other in the neighborhood of our former abode. pyong and i took those spots and were given work contracts to sign - indicating our understanding of the terms of our employment and what was expected of us.

"this is a six month contract, pyong. are we really going to be here that long?"

"i don't know, powder. i doubt it...but it's not like they could really hold us to it if we wanted to leave sooner. and they can't exactly black list us. i don't think this particular rabbit jurisdiction goes beyond urbana. i mean, i've never noticed a rabbit per yard in champaign...and that's just across wright st."

here is what we are supposed to do:
1. report to work just before sunrise.
2. take position in your assigned yard and sit somewhere prominently until you are noticed by at least three passersby. once you have been seen you may move about more freely.
3. you may move sooner if you are threatened by dogs, cats, or humans. under dire circumstances you may leave the yard. but you must return to your yard (assuming you are able) when the danger has passed.
4. eat what you can find in the yard. if there is nothing suitable, or if your yard is poisoned/fertlized/or it is not safe to eat, you may arrange for a luncheon delivery. this will take place in a secure location and will not be observed by ANYONE not rabbit.
5. observe your yard, and what you can in your neighborhood from your position in the yard. report anything interesting/abnormal/dangerous/etc. to your neighborhood supervisor at the end of your shift. if you feel the information is sensitive or must be revealed in a timely manner, you may sound the signal (THUMP), which will be carried by the rabbits in your area until word reaches the supervisor. False alarms are punishable under certain circumstances.
6. if you become ill while on the job, you may also sound the signal and the supervisor will have you replaced for the duration of your illness. if you are ill prior to beginning your workday, you may contact your supervisor to find a replacement. more than three consecutive absences will require verification of your illness by an appointed rabbit, and possibly reassignment of your yard to another rabbit on a permanent basis (duration of your contract).
7. at the end of the workday - 2 hours prior to sunset - you are to report to your supervisor. meet at the designated spot and review the day's reports. everyone returns to their warrens by full night.
8. all rabbits will receive grazing privileges from the warren director or board, and burrow space. in addition, all rabbits are entitled to one free day per week.
9. contracts are renewable at their end, and rabbits may enter the lawn lottery to be randomly reassigned or may freely trade spaces with willing participants.

i had one question for the city clerk - just where do we go on our days off? she pointed out a large map on the wall of her office which had city parks and other public spaces highlighted. warrens were also located in these areas. our assigned warren was located in carle park...it was also the largest public space nearby. she finished processing our paperwork and we were each given a small badge to present to the neighborhood supervisor and warren director/board. these badges would identify us for a short while, until our scent became familiar to everyone.

we hesitated after receiving these.

the city clerk looked up at us after a few minutes and asked in a terse voice, "are you still here?"

"well," i said, "we don't know where to go."

she sighed like her back was breaking in 6 places and said with obvious impatience, "go to the warren director's office. it's just under the gingko tree in carle park. they will get you situated, burrowise. you'll meet your neighborhood supervisor this evening and will start work tomorrow. is that clear?"

we yes ma'amed her out into the sunshine and made our way over to the park.

posted by: barkalot at 20:06 | link | comments (1) |

#1  20 November 2004 - 19:37

 

wildrabbits in a socialist society?!? who knew?

ncharm

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