a thumpin' good time

 we've been taking a lot of time to settle into our new
digs. yeah, i know, how much time can it take for a
couple of bunnies to move in and make themselves at
home? it's a legitimate question. i mean, it's not
as though we've got a lot of belongings to unpack, and
we're not really furnishing our new home in any way -
so, no couch from walter e. smithe, and the matching
nightstands from ethan allen? nuh-uh. personally, i
feel really lost. it's like i've lost my connection
to everything i know, and i don't know quite how to
reconnect and where. we've been homeless for over a
year now, and it's beginning to wear me down. i think
pyong pyong kind of thrives on chaos, but, i'm more of
a homebunny, so it's harder for me to make all of
these transitions. i've lost my sense of home and my
sense of self. who am i? where am i? what am i
doing? you'd think that maybe i'd find some kind of
clues if i revisted my past self - who was i then?
but you know how our cells die and new ones are born -
cellularly speaking, i'm probably completely new.

i start talking about this sense of loss and pyong
rolls her eyes and tells me to meditate. then she
disappears into the stacks to chew on some new ideas
(she also likes the taste of Polymer Composites, one
of the journals the library carries). so we have one
of us stuck in neutral, and one of us off exploring
the future - of humankind. and i wonder which of us
is dealing with our problems most effectively.

it's a weird time of life. or maybe, all times are
weird.

posted by: barkalot at 08:26 | link | comments (1) |

Comments:

#1  21 February 2005 - 14:55

 

dude i love you. i just took a huge break from motime, and i think i missed you the most. and you didn't even know it. to think.

you're like the fish they keep in a broken blender behind the counter. and it's all old now but it's rocks are the same and i think to myself. . . now where would i ever have seen a fish in a blender again?

monsoon

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